This is Aaron Rowand. He’s a baseball player. He formerly played for the White Sox and the Phillies, and is currently center fielder for the San Francisco Giants. I cannot tell you how often I come across his name during my research, because the ladies have nicknamed him “Bacon Pants.” Am I just a very naive person? What does this mean? What is a bacon pants?
I don’t know if you remember the series Pete & Pete from early-90s Nickelodeon. That show was a trip, a bit surreal with lots of jokes that went over the intended audience’s heads. I was in my 20s when this show came out, but I worked with kids and caught a number of episodes. The thing I remember most was that Michael Stipe and Kate Pierson both appeared on the show from time to time. But this may have been the most star-studded kids program ever, even more so than Pee-Wee’s Playhouse. Both Steve Buscemi and Iggy Pop were regulars, and the list of guest appearances is about a mile long.
Anyhow, that was a lengthy introduction to this short but super sweet clip from Pete & Pete.
I know what you’re thinking. “Those cookies don’t look like bacon.” That’s because the ingenious chef behind this cookie is hiding it from us. It’s a Bacon Snap; much like a ginger snap but made with bacon grease in place of butter or shortening. I’m actually not a fan of ginger cookies, but don’t you think this would be a great idea for Snickerdoodles, the world’s greatest cookie? I happen to be on a very trendy “staycation” this week, and I think I’ve found my next project. Mmm…Bacondoodles and bacon bourbon. I am so Homer Simpson.
How many times will Archie McPhee amaze me?! (I really must stop being so surprised every time they come out with YET ANOTHER bacon product.) This nifty little folder acts sort of like a magic eight ball, but with bacon! Need to make a tough decision? Just ask yourself, “What would bacon do?” then spin the wheel. With always-appropriate answers like “taste really good” or “sizzle,” you’re sure to be guided in the right direction.
You gotta love The New Yorker. Wry, urbane, and recently under attack for some controversial cover art. You know what? It’s not going to make me stop reading. Not when the latest edition features the Fourteen Passive-Aggressive Appetizers that would spice up any intimate gathering. And one of them includes bacon!
“2. Vegetarian friends? Try veggie rumaki: wrap a strip of imitation bacon around a water chestnut, spear with a toothpick, and broil—but instead of imitation bacon use real bacon, and instead of a water chestnut use veal.”
I believe I’ve mentioned before that Thanksgiving at my house is like a carnivorous half-marathon, the table spread like 13 miles of butcher’s cases, end to end. I think my vegetarian friends are a little scared that when they come over, I’ll “accidentally” slip them a piece of pork in their salad. “Bacon? No! The pasta sauce is just made with smoked cheese!” And honestly, I would never do such a thing on purpose. It’s just that I hardly think of bacon as meat anymore. It’s more like a condiment or a cooking tool. You can’t stir sauce without a spoon, right? Well, substitute “spoon” with “bacon” and you’re thinking like me.
One evening at dinner with a group of friends and acquaintances, someone asked me, “are you from the South?”
“No. Did I just say something with a Southern accent?”
“No, but you just mentioned ribs, chicken wings and bacon all in one sentence. I just thought maybe…”
Hmph! Well, I guess I couldn’t blame him. It was my big mouth that said it. So I shut up, went home and joined the Paula Deen fan club. Then made myself a bacon, doughnut and egg burger.
There are an amazing number of recipes in existence that pair up the salty with the sweet. I myself rarely mix the two. Can’t stand sweet & sour chicken. Don’t want pineapple on my pizza. The thought of pickles and ice cream has made me sterile. Bacon is the only exception. Does it go great with maple syrup? Yes. Will I try pretty much anything with bacon in it? Absolutely.
And so I’m perfectly happy to endorse the Bacon Apple Pie. It’s made with fresh apples, which is the only way an apple pie should be made. The recipe is simple, but as you can see, a little fancy work with the pastry makes it beautiful. And really, anytime someone bakes something from scratch I’m super impressed. It seems like an artform that is fading from the common kitchen as my mom’s generation resigns from cooking.
My favorite part of this recipe is that the serving suggestion includes smoked cheddar cheese, a much better compliment to the smoky bacon and apples than vanilla ice cream. I avoid baking whenever possible, but this recipe is definitely worth the effort. Now where do I keep those oven mitts again?
As we’ve all heard recently (and redundantly), New York Magazine has called the bacon movement a dying trend, boring as a lecture about plastic bags and beat like the proverbial dead horse. Why, then, did they give us this delightful recipe for bacon-infused bourbon? Is it just because they love me so much?
This post from April includes step-by-step instructions for making bacon-infused bourbon, and then mixing it with bitters and a little maple syrup for a sweet, smoky cocktail, something like an Old-Fashioned without all the muddled fruit. I am highly intrigued by this recipe, as bourbon (specifically Maker’s Mark) is my poison. I love the idea of an Old-Fashioned, but hate all that pulp floating in my drink. I’m going to give this recipe a try, but instead I’ll strain it into a martini glass with a twist of lemon and call it a bacon Manhattan.
Honestly, the idea of mixing bacon and vodka never appealled to me. It might be good in a Bloody Mary, but I don’t drink them so couldn’t really comment. My favorite bourbons already have a full, smoky quality to them, so adding bacon to the mix actually makes sense. The thing I like most about this infusion process is that it uses bacon grease instead of whole strips of fried bacon. I’ve had trouble in the past with infusing oils and having the herbs turn bad; it made me leery of the process. With bacon grease, a freezer and a strainer, I don’t see how it can go wrong.
We interrupt our usual plugging of bacon products to announce that we are proud recipients of an Arte Award! Dave’s Cupboard gave us this honor, and what a compliment coming from one of my favorite food bloggers! Thanks, Dave! This award originated at Arte y Pico, a Spanish-language blog dedicated to finding and sharing art. They love to give props for creativity found around the web, and bravo to that!
In the spirit of passing it on, I now have the responsibility to select five recipients for this prestigious award. There are so many amazing blogs out there and I can choose only five. I feel unequal to the task, but here goes:
Skulls and Bacon - I know the author only by the name of metalchick666, but her blog would go perfectly on the wall of my guest bedroom. From beach towels to bacon history, this blog has me constantly saying “I want that!” or “why didn’t I think of that?”
I Shot the Chef - I’m not sure I’ve ever seen more beautiful food than on Candace’s website. Her recipes are inspired, and her husband Stephan’s photography makes you want to lick the computer screen. I seriously wish these people were my next-door neighbors.
The Anti-Craft - This is where the priestesses of the Dark Lord go for craft patterns. Renee and Zabet conceived a craft magazine where goth knitting meets bacon fashion, and I couldn’t be happier about it.
Sailu’s Food - It’s hard for me to express how much I love Indian food, or how miserably I’ve failed at cooking it over the years. Sailaja’s recipes are easy to follow and beautifully photographed. Thanks to this South Indian blogger, I made my first successful Masala.
Daisy the Dog - This one is Brutus’ pick. It has nothing to do with food or bacon or subversive art. He claims he reads it for the articles, but I think he just likes to look at pictures of Daisy. Can’t say I blame him; she is one cute Pit Bull.
The Rules for the Arte Award:
1. Pick 5 blogs that you consider deserve this award with their creativity, design, interesting material, and also contribute to the blogger community, no matter what language.
2. Each award has to have the name of the author and also a link to his or her blog.
3. Each award-winner has to show the award and put the name and link to the blog that has given her or him the award.
4. Award-winners and the one who has given the prize have to show the link of “Arte y Pico” blog, so everyone will know the origin of this award.
5. Display these rules on your blog.
Thanks again to Dave and everyone in the blogging community for being so supportive. Viva el Arte!
[strained] You know that feeling you get when a thousand knives of fire are stabbing you in the heart? I’m having that right now…[normal] Ooh, bacon! — Homer Simpson