Do you love the Grateful Palate? I love the Grateful Palate. Those guys are just genius, overflowing with an abundance of bacon gifts and bacon-of-the-month clubs and delicious goodies. Grateful Palate, I want to be your friend.

This may be my favorite gift item this week. It’s Bacon Toilet Paper, and I would feel like the coolest person alive if this adorned my bathroom the next time I had guests in my home. Just imagine, caring for your tender hiney in this kind of luxury. The cost alone makes it a precious commodity. At $10 a roll, this isn’t the toilet paper you want your toddler or puppy pulling from room to room, making a Hansel & Gretel-style TP trail. It’s the kind of thing you hoard and break out only for special occasions.

Too rich for your buns? Take a look around the Under $30 sections. You can find gifts and nibbles starting at just $3. Although I’m still going to push the toilet paper. Buy a four-pack and it bring the cost down to about $6 a roll. And really, isn’t the cheekiness worth it?