And so tonight I plan to raise a pint and make a silent plea for the plight of our Irish friends. May the gods of cattle smile on their gentle herds, and give them back their tasty bacon.
By now you must have heard that there was a complete recall of all Irish pork products, due to the discovery of a deadly toxin in the feed being fed to local pigs. No bacon, no sausage, no Sunday pork roasts or chops. I feel just terrible for the good people of this island nation…some of them, no doubt, distant relatives of mine. And if they’re anything like me, they’ll miss their pork.
To make matters worse, there is now fear that local beef may also be affected. Good grief, what’s next? Another potato famine? While this beef crisis isn’t a done deal, I’m sure it has everyone in a state of panic. I know corned beef and cabbage isn’t really the Irish tradition it’s made out to be, but I tend to ignore the facts and rely on my brain’s vast collection of stereotypes. And in my mind, those Irish lads and lassies are going to miss their corned beef most of all. *Sniff, sniff.*