Let’s say you have an important day ahead of you, maybe a job interview. You want to dress smart to impress your potential employer, but you don’t want him or her to think you’re a stuffed shirt. How do you express your immense capability and still share your sense of whimsy? Why, the bacon tie, of course! This baby will deliver a full State of the Interviewee speech while you’re still on your first handshake. (You can find an even better bacon necktie here, but I couldn’t manage to capture the image.)

It turns out you can find ties with all kinds of weird things on them…animals in compromising positions, pigs floating gently into the mouth of a meat grinder, Star Trek characters, Michelangelo’s David…just about anything you can think of. Which, frankly, now makes me a little leery of tie wearers. Maybe walking around all day with something tied around your jugular cuts off the blood supply to your brain, thereby causing you to want to wear Stewie from Family Guy on your chest. I’m not sure about this theory, but it’s the best one I’ve got.

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