Give it up for Gravy
March 27, 2008 by Brutus
My roommates buy a lot of fancy stuff “for me.” Environmentally friendly biodegradable poop bags. (Who cares?) French Vanilla scented shampoo for sensitive skin. (Like I want a bath.) Two dog beds that they for some reason stack on top of each other. What am I, the Princess with the pea? Your bed will do just fine.
You know what I really want, folks? Bacon. Fake bacon. Bacon-flavored cookies. Bacon-wrapped other meats. And oh yeah, bacon gravy for my kibble. You probably think I like dry kibble because I eat it twice a day. But let’s be honest here, kids. If I had thumbs I’d be in the fridge eating cheese ‘til I puked.
The roommates feel queasy about this products’ gelatinous texture, but I say bring it on. The ingredients listed are surprisingly natural and healthy. And hey, YOU don’t have to eat it! So let’s worry less about the form, and more about the function: making me happy. Because really, isn’t that what we’re all here for?
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Again my brother-you speak the truth. I hate to admit it but I have taken to eating more like a cat. I just pick at my kibble throughout the day unless my roommates throw in some of their leftovers on top. THEN and only then will I consume an entire bowl of my own food at one sitting. If bacon gravy was poured on top of my “healthy” kibble I would regain my ferocious eating style of yore.