August 26, 2008 by Marianne

August 26, 2008 • Filed Under: Bacon Gifts

I know what you’re thinking. I have a closet full of clothes and nothing truly bacony to go with them! Well, have you tried a search for bacon on Etsy.com? If not, drop what you’re doing and GO. THERE. NOW!

In a miniature celebration of breakfast, CuteAbility puts the whole production around your neck. The Eat Your Breakfast Necklace doesn’t muss about with the distraction of fruit or potatoes. Eggs. Bacon. Sausage. Toast. Oh yeah, and some coffee on the side. My favorite part might be the yellow-rimmed plate with white polka dots. It’s the little things that make me smile.

I know I’ve talked about Etsy before, but it bears repeating, particularly for new readers. If you’re looking for original, hand-made arts & crafts, Etsy is your pimp. From paintings to knitting to tiny, ceramic breakfast tableaux, you can find just about anything you can imagine.

July 28, 2008 by Marianne

July 28, 2008 • Filed Under: Bacon Gifts

Wow, that was one lovely, relaxing week, filled with much eating, bike riding, book reading, wine drinking and movie watching. Brutus had an indulgent week, too, and if you don’t believe me, just check out his bacon hangover in this photo. (I think we may be battling an addiction here.)

While I was away, it was reported that the price of bacon has begun to soar. I’m willing to drive less to save on gasoline, but you can forget about decreasing my bacon intake. In fact, I’m going to rush right out and try the newest sensation: Bacon Jerky! And it’s even on sale if you act now! Thanks to the bacon freaks at cvwine.com for their constant innovation in the world of meat candy.

And finally, I discovered something wonderful last week. Austin Winters, a 10-year old leukemia patient, recently won a national art contest for his animated creation, BACON BOY! I have been scouring the internet trying to find an image of this superhero (and his nemesis Fry Guy) but to no avail. I guess I’ll just have to wait for a t-shirt from the Children’s Healing Art Project or a glimpse of the Museum of Glass’ sculpture. Congratulations, Austin! A bacon superhero is just what this world needed.

July 21, 2008 by Marianne

July 21, 2008 • Filed Under: Bacon Gifts

How many times will Archie McPhee amaze me?! (I really must stop being so surprised every time they come out with YET ANOTHER bacon product.) This nifty little folder acts sort of like a magic eight ball, but with bacon! Need to make a tough decision? Just ask yourself, “What would bacon do?” then spin the wheel. With always-appropriate answers like “taste really good” or “sizzle,” you’re sure to be guided in the right direction.

July 7, 2008 by Marianne

July 7, 2008 • Filed Under: Bacon Gifts

I don’t know about you, Internet, but I find holiday weekends a royal strain on the wallet. Between the drinks with friends, breakfasts and dinners with friends, pedicures, bottles of wine at the house, cases of beer at the house…well, you catch my drift. We’ve been on a spending bender that has left me full of remorse, but also full of happy (if somewhat hazy) memories. Totally worth it.

I woke up this morning, however, determined to stanch the flow of currency, and this wallet looks like the solution. The Bacon Wallet will hold my cash, strap down those credit cards, and keep my money from voluntarily flying out at every vendor I pass. Frankly, imagining the sight of me pulling raw bacon out of my purse is probably enough to keep me in check. No one likes to see a look of revulsion on the shop girl’s face. Makes me lose my shoppetite.

June 25, 2008 by Marianne

June 25, 2008 • Filed Under: Bacon Gifts

Internet, I love you. You let people do and say whatever they want, and you don’t judge them for it. If people want to shout their political views, you give them a soapbox to stand on. If they want to share their beautiful artwork, you provide them a virtual museum. And if they want to make t-shirts and accessories to proclaim their love of bacon, by gum you become a mega-mall of bounty.

The CafePress Bacon Shop has an amazing array of bacon shirts, hats, onesies, panties, aprons, dog shirts, clocks…the list goes on and on. I had a hard time deciding which images to include in this post. There are so many good ones. I loved “OMG IT’S BACON!” and “I’d like you more if you smelled like bacon.” And oh my gosh the “100% Pure Kitten Bacon.” Who are these people and what do they do when they’re not designing bacon t-shirts?

As far as I’m concerned, 90% of my Christmas, birthday, anniversary and bridal shower shopping is now under control. The other 10% will be done at the grocery store. Thanks, CafePress, for making my life so easy. And thank you, Internet, for being my everything.

June 24, 2008 by Marianne

June 24, 2008 • Filed Under: Bacon Gifts

When you’re really into a thing, sometimes you want to wear your love on your sleeve. Or, in this case, on your feet. I give you the Eggs & Bacon Hi-Top, a style for any occasion.

I’m a huge Converse fan and have been wearing Chuck Taylor’s since I was 12, so I wasn’t terribly surprised to find that Converse was the company to make the leap into breakfast fashion. I’m especially fond of the plastic picnic table cloth motif on which the bacon & eggs are set. And the yellow trim and laces really emphasize those sunny-side up yolks. The only thing that could make these shoes better is a little scratch ‘n’ sniff technology. I’m giving them an A+, winner through and through.

Unfortunately, this must have been a limited edition design because I haven’t been able to find them for purchase. If anyone out there knows where they can be found, please report back. In the meantime, let’s go get some breakfast. For some reason I’m suddenly starving.

June 11, 2008 by Marianne

June 11, 2008 • Filed Under: Bacon Gifts

It’s a question as old as time: to meat, or not to meat. I know lots of vegetarians, and just as many former vegetarians who fell off the old meat-wagon. If you were struggling to control your carnivorous instincts, can you think of any smell that would ruin you as quickly as bacon? I can’t. And that’s why Bacon must always be the arch-enemy of Tofu, the champion of Soy, the mother of all bean products.

Now we can all have a reminder of this eternal struggle on our knick knack shelves, thanks to the good folks at Archie McPhee. The masters of making kitsch out of the most common or even sacred objects of our lives, McPhee does not disappoint with these poseable action figures. Mr. Bacon and Monsieur Tofu may be small and vinyl, but they represent the internal conflict that lives in the hearts of many of our fellow beings.

And to those of you endeavoring to solve the great riddle, I suggest you stick with the tofu. More bacon for me.

June 6, 2008 by Marianne

June 6, 2008 • Filed Under: Bacon Gifts

Do you love the Grateful Palate? I love the Grateful Palate. Those guys are just genius, overflowing with an abundance of bacon gifts and bacon-of-the-month clubs and delicious goodies. Grateful Palate, I want to be your friend.

This may be my favorite gift item this week. It’s Bacon Toilet Paper, and I would feel like the coolest person alive if this adorned my bathroom the next time I had guests in my home. Just imagine, caring for your tender hiney in this kind of luxury. The cost alone makes it a precious commodity. At $10 a roll, this isn’t the toilet paper you want your toddler or puppy pulling from room to room, making a Hansel & Gretel-style TP trail. It’s the kind of thing you hoard and break out only for special occasions.

Too rich for your buns? Take a look around the Under $30 sections. You can find gifts and nibbles starting at just $3. Although I’m still going to push the toilet paper. Buy a four-pack and it bring the cost down to about $6 a roll. And really, isn’t the cheekiness worth it?

June 4, 2008 by Marianne

June 4, 2008 • Filed Under: Bacon Gifts

I don’t know about your dad, but mine has some typical father-like qualities. Things like a penchant for shop tools and barbecues and red meat. Although Dad and I don’t agree on how we like our bacon cooked, we both agree that breakfast isn’t breakfast without it. (One of many issues on which we agree on the answer, but not the method.)

So if you’ve got one of those heroic, he-man dads who runs the grill like a pro, get on over to BaconShirts.com and make your dad the bacon apron of your choice. Too tough for an apron? Go for the bacon t-shirt. Unfortunately the bacon underpants only come in women’s sizes. What a rip-off! If there’s one thing a dad likes to get from his kids on Father’s Day, it’s chonies!

So don’t be like me and slack until the last minute, leaving yourself barely enough time to get a card in the mail. Don’t forget, Father’s Day is June 15 and it will be here before you know it!

June 2, 2008 by Marianne

June 2, 2008 • Filed Under: Bacon Gifts, Most Popular Bacon

Internet, this product has just BLOWN. MY. MIND. I thought it was a joke at first, but no. Indeed this product is real. It’s bacon in a can and it’s found exclusively at MRE Depot. The camouflage can and the description “MRE” bring to mind images of men out camping, perhaps hunting deer. When you’re backpacking into the brush, you don’t want a lot of perishables in your pack. And when you’re hunting wild game, you don’t want the smell of grilling bacon to tip them off to your presence. So of course you need canned bacon. It gives you the protein you need to stay focused on killing poor Bambi’s daddy. (Says the porkaholic.)

The only other reason I can imagine buying canned bacon is for emergency food storage, I guess? Because the Apocalypse just wouldn’t be any fun without it. Nothing but condensed soup and fruit cocktail. (Am I the only person who has an emergency food storage? Apparently full of food I dread?) Some things just do not say “canned” to me…things like sausages and tamales. I can now add bacon to that list. Even though I can’t stop staring at these photos. Just look how shiny the bacon grease makes the waxed paper at the bottom of the can!

This website gives truly step-by-step images of how the bacon looks upon coming out of the can. They are so good, I wanted to put every single picture in this post. Instead I will urge you, nay, beg you to go to the site and check it out. I kid you not, this product has made my Monday morning. And may I just add, God bless America!