So there you are, wandering the back alleys of Chinatown, minding your own business and looking for illegal fireworks. Never could you guess that in the next shop, you’d find this adorable creature:

He seems so innocent, so loving, despite the many spikey toothpicks threatening to stab you. Though hesitant to part with this rare creature, you finally convince the shopkeeper’s grandson that you’ll take good care of it and obey all the pesky little rules: Never expose him to direct sunlight, as it can burn his fragile body. Never let him near your cat or dog, as they could kill the bacon man. And most importantly, never feed him after midnight.

You meant well. You followed the rules fastidiously…for a few days. But then you went and showed your careless little friend, and all hell broke loose. Just look what you’ve gotten yourself and your new pet into. Now he’s a bacon demon and nothing can turn him back into the sweet little Mr. Baconhead he used to be. Good job, kid.

Thanks to rissdemeanor for all the kooky images.

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