bacon-brutus.jpgHey interweb, sorry I haven’t been around the last couple of weeks. I was sick. Sick of writing for a blog master who doesn’t pay me enough. I’ve negotiated a higher rate of treat payment, so I’m back. At least for today. We’ll see how it goes.

Today’s product appeals to my enjoyment of things not quite attainable, like the birds in the backyard, or catching my own tail. It’s Bubble Buddy bacon-flavored bubbles, and it looks satisfyingly fun. These eye-catching orbs come running at you, and you want to catch them! So you do! And they pop! Which is awesome for me because destroying things is part of my internal code, but I’m rarely allowed to act on that instinct.

bacon-bubbles.jpgThese bubbles give me all the fun I look for in a toy: chasing, jumping, and biting. And then, as an added bonus, once they pop on your face or paws, you’re left with the taste of bacon to lick off!. I don’t know about you, but licking is the way I pass most of my spare time. If all my fur tasted like bacon…well, I might end up bald. Yech. That’s an ugly side affect to consider.

Still, with summer coming, this would be a great outdoor activity for your dog. But please use in moderation. Winter will be back eventually and we’ll need that fur to keep warm.

Oh man, if you have never watched an episode of Invader Zim, I recommend you run right out and do so. This was a short-lived Nickelodeon cartoon that was cancelled in its second season, but later received the critical acclaim and cult following that it deserves. They still show episodes on Nicktoons, but unless you’re up at 6 am on a Wednesday morning…well then I guess you better set your TiVo. Sometimes I love technology.

My favorite part of the show is not Zim himself, but his half-witted robot dog, Grr. Quite probably because he reminds me of myself, only half listening to anything Zim says because he’s too busy thinking about bacon. Or cupcakes. Or pizza. This clip is a classic example of Grr’s constant attempts to make food a part of each of life’s many details.

bacon-cappuccino.jpgYou know what’s great about bacon blogging? It’s all the great ideas, recipes and products we stumble upon while doing our research. And I know I’ve said it about many things before, but I LOVE TODAY’S IDEA! Yes, I have already said that I love bacon when mixed with chocolate and maple syrup and adorable jewelry. But coffee? My love of coffee nearly rivals my love of bacon. So here we go, with yet another idea that I LOVE. (Should I say love again? Love.)

It’s a Bacon Cappuccino and more than any other breakfast partnership, this combination makes absolute sense to me. Not because my espresso needs the salty, smokiness of bacon. Not because bacon is the perfect accompaniment for espresso’s earthy bitterness. But because these are the two things most likely to make up my breakfast on any given day. Usually its just the espresso, but if I could always get that with a side of bacon, it would be like waking up on the right side of the bed for eternity. All my cares would just melt away and my eight hours of work would speed by like a dream about winning the lottery. I may be exaggerating about all that, but seriously, I want some bacon in my coffee.

chocolate-covered-bacon.jpgSo I know I already talked about Bacon Chocolate, a colloidal mixture of high-quality chocolate and bits of yummy bacon. But this is a whole new thing. Full strips of bacon, apparently dipped in fudge. Someone sent me this image, and I just had to find out who was making this magic, and where it could be found. Turns out you can only find it at Marini’s, a candy shop with four locations to serve you in Santa Cruz, California. Fortunately, Marini’s has online ordering capabilities. Unfortunately, chocolate covered bacon is not currently on their online menu. But if you just have to try this modern marvel, I suggest you place a phone call or send an email and see what they’ll do for you.

On a completely different subject, I tried the bacondaise this weekend. I had major fear because I ended up using this recipe. All the science content gave me a complex before I even got started. But I have to say, it was not as difficult as I had feared, and was a huge hit with the husband. I didn’t have 6 to 8 ounces of bacon grease on hand, so I ended up going with about half grease, half butter. Turns out I don’t like hollandaise with bacon grease any more than I did without, but I might go ahead and try it with some cheese grits just to be sure. I hate to dismiss a wildly unhealthy recipe before I’ve given it a fair shake.

bacon-sandwich.jpgWell it has been a long week, and I’m looking forward to relaxing with a plate of hot bacon. Actually, I finally got all the ingredients necessary to try out the bacondaise recipe, so that’s the plan for my Saturday morning. And someone in my household is very excited.

If you’re looking for something creative to do in the kitchen this weekend, look no further than startcooking.com and Kathy Maister’s 50 Ways to Use Bacon. She has put some serious work into researching bacon recipes and ideas so that I don’t have to. Because hey, it’s Friday. I wasn’t really planning to do any work.

(Thanks to slashfood.com for this amazing photo of a heart attack on white bread.)

bacon-chart.jpgWhen I saw this chart, I just had to laugh because IT’S TRUE!! I have had many such revelations in my life. Like the time when my husband (then my 20-year-old boyfriend) and I were walking through the grocery store and he looked up at the immense aisle of cereal and said, “I can buy whatever cereal I want!” It was then that we realized that adulthood was awesome. It was 10 pounds later that we realized that adulthood had its responsibilities. And that maybe Cookie Crisp was not as good as it had always looked on the commercials.

These days we try our best to temper our love of pork products, Coco Puffs and ice cream with healthy doses of fresh veggies. Many nights the worse the entree (I’m looking at you, baby back ribs) the larger the salad. But here’s the thing: We can only pull off this kind of resolve when we’re together. My husband works out of town a lot, and I’m here to tell you that my first meal of his absence nearly always involves large doses of pasta, bacon and cheese…and no vegetables whatsoever. Last week I worked a lot of late nights, and I’m pretty sure he ate nothing but boxed mac’n’cheese. Sure, I still make myself salads when he’s gone, but are they topped with fresh bacon crumbles and avocado? Take a guess.

So we’ll continue this battle for the rest of our days, balancing the things we love with the things our bodies need; the responsibility of a mature couple with the indulgence of unseen guilty pleasures. And we’ll still take pleasure in knowing that we CAN indulge in whatever we want, as long as we do it in moderation. And as my husband said recently to a crying child in the cereal aisle, “Don’t worry kid. When you grow up you can buy all the Froot Loops you want.”

porkprincess.jpgI know I clued you in to the Bacon Tux in time for prom season, but what about the ladies? How will you ever match your date’s fragrance and charm? If prom hasn’t already happened at your school, this is the answer. The Bacon Tiara.

It’s fancy. It’s crafty. It will smell delicous with any slightly sugary perfume you may have on hand. Eau de Pancake, anyone? Seriously, ladies, you can’t be outdone by your man. And this crown of pork will ensure that you are the talk of the red carpet. The gem of the gym. The queen of the dance floor.

Created by the good folks at The Anti-Craft, you will find painstaking instructions on how to create your very own bacon head adornment. And I mean painstaking. These people left no detail to chance, and you’ll be the beneficiary of all their research, trial and error. Pork Princesses of the world, claim your throne!

mr-baconhead1.jpg

So there you are, wandering the back alleys of Chinatown, minding your own business and looking for illegal fireworks. Never could you guess that in the next shop, you’d find this adorable creature:

He seems so innocent, so loving, despite the many spikey toothpicks threatening to stab you. Though hesitant to part with this rare creature, you finally convince the shopkeeper’s grandson that you’ll take good care of it and obey all the pesky little rules: Never expose him to direct sunlight, as it can burn his fragile body. Never let him near your cat or dog, as they could kill the bacon man. And most importantly, never feed him after midnight.

mr-bacondemon.jpgYou meant well. You followed the rules fastidiously…for a few days. But then you went and showed your careless little friend, and all hell broke loose. Just look what you’ve gotten yourself and your new pet into. Now he’s a bacon demon and nothing can turn him back into the sweet little Mr. Baconhead he used to be. Good job, kid.

Thanks to rissdemeanor for all the kooky images.