bacon-chips.gifLately I’ve been trying to determine my specific relationship to food. I love to cook and experiment in the kitchen, but I’m no gourmet. I love to eat, but I don’t think I qualify as a “foodie.” I think what it all boils down to is an indulgent personality, which provides me with a daily struggle not to eat every fatty food that comes to mind. What’s life without a challenge, right?

Because I have so many food favorites, I have to pick my battles. One such battle is the war with potato chips. I’ve managed to swear them off pretty successfully, despite their many wonderful qualities. They’re salty and crunchy and greasy…practically a bacon substitute on many levels. All except that delicous, smoky flavor. Which brings me to today’s tasty treat: Humpty Dumpty brand Smokin’ Bacon potato chips.

Thank heaven this company is based in Canada and I can’t get my hands on these chips. For one thing, what if I love them? Will I be able to maintain my vigilant stance against the foe? Or even worse, what if they’re terrible? If there’s one thing I learned in Asia, it’s that American snack foods and foreign spices do not always make a pleasant experience. I know bacon isn’t “foreign,” but maybe it’s a ruse! Maybe it’s really Canadian bacon! I’m not sure I could stand the disappointment.

Despite my concerns, if you happen to find yourself in Canada, I hope you’ll find yourself some Humpty Dumptys and try one of their many interesting flavors. (Ketchup? Yikes.) And if the bacon chips are good, bring some back! On second thought, cancel that order. I don’t think my resolve can take the strain.

I have to say that when I think of Japanese food, bacon may be the very last thing that comes to mind. Fish eyes, whale blubber, shellfish reproductive organs and dried squid all scream Japan to me. Can anyone tell me exactly what is going on here?

bacon-popcorn.jpgLately my husband has been extolling the virtues of popcorn as an evening snack over, say, chocolate fudge brownie ice cream. He particularly likes to share a big bowl if we’re planning to watch a movie or a marathon session of The Office episodes. He likes to sprinkle his with a little Tabasco for flavor. I, on the other hand, am a strict butter and salt girl. Which, I understand, undermines popcorn’s naturally healthy, low-cal benefits.

So as long as I’m putting my health and waistline at risk for the sake of flavor, why not take it to the next level? This recipe from Noshteria gives me the snacky goodness I desire with the daily bacon intake I require. Not only does she put fresh-fried bacon in the popcorn, she also recommends using the bacon grease to pop your kernels! That’s right, kids. Put away the air popper. We’re poppin’ and noshin’ old school.

Being as its Friday and I just got the Aqua Teen Hunger Force movie from Netflix, you can guess what we’re doing for date night. You should drop by! We’ll be kicking off our shoes and enjoying a big ol’ bucket of bacon snack paradise.

Brutus - Rovering ReporterSo I was “surfing the net” as you humans say, and I found this great photo of a bacon-wrapped cat. Well, I guess that’s an exaggeration, but it is a cat with bacon on it. Was I searching for bacon-wrapped cats? Maybe. The point is, there it is. A Bacon Cat.

My roommates don’t have a cat, but they used to. I hear them talk about her sometimes. I hear them saying they wish they could have another one, which I find utterly exasperating. I mean, hello! You have me, not just a dog but a total wonderdog. But you really can’t tell the roommates what to do; they do not listen to reason. So, in preparation for any more discussion on household additions, I thought I ought to brush up on what kind of cats are available. And I think this is the one for us.

bacon-cat.jpgUnfortunately, this is the only Bacon Cat I’ve found and it doesn’t appear to be for sale. So I’m turning to you, faithful reader, to help me find more examples of this delicious intelligent-looking cat. Have you ever seen one? Do you know where we can buy one? Do they come in other flavors? I think we’d be looking to adopt a full grown specimen, the larger the better. I’m a big dog with a hearty appetite. For friendship. Any help will be greatly appreciated.

bacon-briefcase.jpgNow we travel back in time a year or so to an innovation so wonderful, it’s worth seeing again. This ad campaign for heaven knows what is probably responsible for the bacon lunch box. And for this I must give thanks.

I love the way they used a single, giant slab of bacon instead of, say, wrapping a real briefcase with individual slices. If I didn’t work in a dog-friendly environment, I might seriously consider carrying my most important documents in this sophisticated piece of luggage. Now if they would just come up with a similar design for my laptop…

breakfast-of-champions1.jpgIn case you’re looking for the perfect complement to that BLT Ring you just bought, here’s the perfect match. The Breakfast of Champions charm bracelet. This cute wrist adornment pairs bacon with all its favorite partners…eggs, toast, milk, and of course a jelly-filled, sprinkled doughnut. Or is it a pop-tart? Either way, utterly delicious and perfect for any occasion.

Brought to you by another Etsy artist, this bracelet would make a great gift for your bacon-loving mom. (Mother’s Day is just around the corner!) Or for your favorite bacon-themed blogger. Or hey, treat yourself! At $18, this is an indulgence you can afford, even if you did just put another $74 of gas in your car. So go ahead, start every day off right with a complete breakfast around your wrist. It’s sure to charm everyone’s socks off.

This is Jim Gaffigan, and by far the best rambling monologue ever delivered on the subject of bacon.

savenors-logo.jpgLooking to spice up your bacon routine? Craving bacon made of wild game? Search no further, Friend. Savenor’s Market in historic Boston has got you covered. Established in 1939, this upscale market was once frequented by East Coast royalty like the Kennedys and Rockefellers. It became a household name when Julia Childs, a loyal customer, made mention of the shop on her popular PBS program, even inviting her beloved butcher, Jack Savenor, to make several guest appearances.

Thanks to the modern marvel that is online shopping, you can now have a taste of this New England legend from the West Coast to the Pacific Rim. For just $180, you can join the 6-month Bacon Society, where you’ll get a different artisanal bacon shipped to your door each month, including varieties made of wild boar and duck! Too rich for your blood? Try the 3-month Bacon Society at half the price. Savenors features a variety of other monthly meat clubs, or you can just do your quality meat marketing with a click of the mouse. Don’t you just love the interweb?!

It’s nice to know there are other societies out there devoted to our favorite meat. It makes us feel like we’re part of a larger purpose, maybe even a cause. And while this particular bacon society isn’t royal, we would totally invite them to our ball.