When these little guys first hit the scene, I was fascinated. And given the success of their Quizno’s commercial, just think what they could do for our friend bacon!

Chocolate and Bacon Candy Bar
I’ve seen a number of interesting sweet/salty combinations involving bacon, especially where maple syrup is involved. But here’s a brilliant new idea that combines two things that I truly love. Bacon and Chocolate. The Vosges Haut-Chocolat website is not only beautiful, but full of wonderfully inventive chocolate bar flavors. Dark chocolate, chiles and cinnamon? Yes please. Rich milk chocolate with Indian curry and coconut? I’m totally drooling on my laptop. White chocolate and Kalamata olives? Maybe not for me, but if you’re game, they’ve got it.

They have an amazing variety of beautifully packaged gift sets, and they provide helpful tasting guides. Their website gives you unique recipes, just in case the bar itself wasn’t distinctive enough on its own. If you want to go all out and have a full-blown party for your nose and tongue, there’s the Sensory Collection. Not only does it include a palette of chocolates, but there are vials of oil essences and dried herbs and fruits to engage your senses with as many combinations as you can imagine. Have this set handy after your next hipster dinner party. Your guests will be in awe.

I could literally go on for hours about the amazing products offered by Vosges. Having participated in an enchanting evening of chocolate tasting recently, I can highly recommend this for your next girl’s night, gourmet dinner club or as an exotic ending to a stay-at-home date night. I promise you it will be an unforgettable experience!

freedomfido.jpg My roommates buy a lot of fancy stuff  for me.  Environmentally friendly biodegradable poop bags. (Who cares?) French Vanilla scented shampoo for sensitive skin. (Like I want a bath.) Two dog beds that they for some reason stack on top of each other. What am I, the Princess with the pea? Your bed will do just fine.

You know what I really want, folks? Bacon. Fake bacon. Bacon-flavored cookies. Bacon-wrapped other meats. And oh yeah, bacon gravy for my kibble. You probably think I like dry kibble because I eat it twice a day. But let’s be honest here, kids. If I had thumbs I’d be in the fridge eating cheese ’til I puked.

The roommates feel queasy about this products’  gelatinous texture, but I say bring it on. The ingredients listed are surprisingly natural and healthy. And hey, YOU don’t have to eat it! So let’s worry less about the form, and more about the function: making me happy. Because really, isn’t that what we’re all here for?

bacon-taters.jpgI don’t know what I love more: the interweb, or people from the mid-West who make my job so easy. Maybe this idea was too obvious, maybe I should already have come up with it myself. But it was just as fun discovering it on the wide, wide world of web. Thanks, Bacon Unwrapped, for bringing this wonderful new breakfast miracle to light. My husband is going to be STOKED this Sunday morning.

Note how the author of that page also gave the recipe for “special sauce” (mayo and ketchup mixed together.) I believe in Utah they call that “fry sauce” and so I give a special shout out to my Utah (and former Utah) peeps. You know you can’t wait to try it!

bacon-martini.jpgIt seems nearly unfathomable that it has taken me this long to get to it. I saw it months ago. I noticed it on a menu in Vegas. I’ve been simultaneously intrigued and repulsed since it first came to my attention. It’s a Bacon Martini, and I cannot imagine the mind that came up with this wacky idea. Thanks Double Down Saloon!

You can find this baby all over the interweb, but this particularly handy website gives you the knowledge you need to first bacon-infuse your favorite clear liquor, then make a smoky martini out of it. Unfortunately, it also expounds upon this idea, adding another dozen bacon-themed recipes to the original. Then, for a final kick to the gut, there are photos of sausage and spam martinis. Mmmm…who’s thirsty?

As much as I am a proponent of all things bacon, I’m not sure I can back this invention. Although in all fairness I haven’t tried it. And I suppose I can’t knock it unti I do. Anyone dare me?

(Special thanks to Chrissy for providing this much more tasteful and chic site where they make Bacon Vodka look like an artform. And a fabulous homemade gift idea!)

This commercial reminds me of the excruciating year that my husband and I decided to be vegetarians. It would have been a lovely experiment if we hadn’t both gained 10 pounds from all the extra carbs and cheese we packed in trying to feel satisfied. It might also have been a better idea if we’d waited until we’d learned to make a decent salad. It literally lasted 365 days before I flipped out and declared that I simply could not live another day without a piece of chicken. We have not looked back since.

Brutus - Rovering Reporter

bacon-water.jpgMy diet is pretty boring. I get some supposedly healthy kibble twice a day, a handful of treats if I look cute enough, and all the water I can drink. Woop-dee-doo. Water. I know my roommates have beer and wine and whipping cream in the fridge, but they are not forthcoming with any of the good stuff. That’s why I’m here to make a case for Bacon Water.

I’ve read the website and don’t know exactly how to get this liquid ambrosia, but there’s a lot of useful crap on there about why it’s good for me, what it’s made from, and why local retailers should consider selling it.

So this is my plea. I’ve seen you humans. You never drink water from a bowl; always from a bottle. I want nothing more than to share your human rights. Please! Call your local pet store and ask them to carry Bacon Water. If dog was man’s best friend before, just think what this will do for the relationship!

Over the centuries, there have been countless tales of bravery, men and women willing to sacrifice life and limb for their cause, for their beliefs, for the people and things that they love. One such man, a personal hero of mine, is Michael Scott, Regional Manager of Dunder Mifflin, Scranton.

Michael makes bacon a priority in his life. He considers it one of his cherished American freedoms to wake up to the smell of sizzling bacon. So much so that he rigged a timer on his George Foreman grill, allowing it to act as a sort of sensory alarm, beginning the grilling process just in time to wake him up with the cheerful demeanor he needs to be an effective boss (and friend). And what could be a better idea than bringing that delicious smell right to his bedroom? Waking up NEXT TO the smell of fresh bacon? Come on! It’s genius!

And so it was in pursuit of this noble dream that Michael badly burned his foot one morning, stepping on the George Foreman grill and nearly ending his short but heroic life. Fortunately, Michael did not succumb to the smell of singed flesh, and he powers forward to this day, selling paper and promoting bacon as a part of a full and satisfying life. He doesn’t resent bacon for the pain he’s been through, and even now he acts as bacon’s advocate, as seen here in his groundbreaking video, Lazy Scranton.

And so to you, Michael Scott, I say thank you. Thank you for your fortitude in the face of adversity. Thank you for championing the things that you love. Thank you for helping me be a better me.