Over the centuries, there have been countless tales of bravery, men and women willing to sacrifice life and limb for their cause, for their beliefs, for the people and things that they love. One such man, a personal hero of mine, is Michael Scott, Regional Manager of Dunder Mifflin, Scranton.

Michael makes bacon a priority in his life. He considers it one of his cherished American freedoms to wake up to the smell of sizzling bacon. So much so that he rigged a timer on his George Foreman grill, allowing it to act as a sort of sensory alarm, beginning the grilling process just in time to wake him up with the cheerful demeanor he needs to be an effective boss (and friend). And what could be a better idea than bringing that delicious smell right to his bedroom? Waking up NEXT TO the smell of fresh bacon? Come on! It’s genius!

And so it was in pursuit of this noble dream that Michael badly burned his foot one morning, stepping on the George Foreman grill and nearly ending his short but heroic life. Fortunately, Michael did not succumb to the smell of singed flesh, and he powers forward to this day, selling paper and promoting bacon as a part of a full and satisfying life. He doesn’t resent bacon for the pain he’s been through, and even now he acts as bacon’s advocate, as seen here in his groundbreaking video, Lazy Scranton.

And so to you, Michael Scott, I say thank you. Thank you for your fortitude in the face of adversity. Thank you for championing the things that you love. Thank you for helping me be a better me.

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The Baconwood Box Company is a great little business with a penchant for hand-crafted, bacon-related wooden wares. There’s the bacon-wrapped scallop box! Bacon-shaped letter opener! Bacon tees! These people have got it bad for bacon.

My favorite by far is the Bacon & Eggs Candleholders. How great would these look running the length of my dining room table? (Seriously, folks, I would not be disappointed in this item as a gift.)

Hmmm, now if only someone would invent a bacon-scented candle.

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It’s kind of long, but you’ll feel great knowing that no matter how much pizza/fast food/alcohol you consumed, it could have been worse.

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As Homer Simpson so sagely warned us, “you don’t make friends with salad.” In view of this wisdom, we have scoured the internet seeking those bacon creations which most make us want to kiss the chef. Tune in every Friday for new ways to Make Friends with Bacon.

In this week’s edition, bacon meets hot dog. Hello, hot dog!

Now that’s bacon porn at it’s finest. Mmmmm… bacon porn…

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As a constant frequent maker of bacon, I tend to stick to the pan-fry method. It’s simple and gives me the drippings I require to make everything else in any given meal taste like bacon. Although I have baked it on a cookie sheet and even used my grill pan (with an official bacon press!), I have never cooked bacon in a microwave. It just sounds impossibly wrong.That said, you have to see this microwave dish invented by an eight-year-old. It lets you cook lots of bacon at once, but attempts to make it vaguely healthy. Mmm, healthy microwaved bacon. I’m seriously hoping that this nifty gadget put little Abbey through a prestigious college and got her out of the land of microwave cooking.

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I have been asked to guest commentate on the subject of bacon and bacon flavored treats. My hobbies are extensive and include licking my butt and chasing things, but treats are definitely #1 on that list. I happen to be the recipient of numerous daily treatings, and so consider myself something of an expert.

I’ll begin with Purina Beggin’ Strips. The commercials claim that dogs don’t know it’s not bacon. Oh really? I couldn’t agree less. While bacon’s initial flavor is far superior to that of a Beggin’ Strips, it has a weird, pill-shaped thing in the middle that tastes just awful. But I always forget it’s coming. I literally cannot resist real bacon.

On the other hand, I literally cannot resist Beggin’ Stripss. My roommates always buy different colored bags, asking me would I like regular bacon, or bacon & cheese? I’m also well acquainted with cheese and am here to tell you they’re getting ripped off. It doesn’t taste like bacon, it doesn’t taste like cheese. It all tastes like the same bag of jerky. Don’t get me wrong, it’s delicious, but I wouldn’t loseWeight Exercise any sleep over picking my favorite flavor. Your time would be better spent guessing what I ate in the backyard this morning. Good luck with that.

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