- “(Lisa) “I’m going to become a vegetarian” (Homer) “Does that mean you’re not going to eat any pork?” “Yes” “Bacon?” “Yes Dad” Ham?” “Dad all those meats come from the same animal” “Right Lisa, some wonderful, magical animal!””
- “Porkchops and bacon, my two favorite animals.”
- “When you’re in my house you shall do as I do and believe who I believe in. So Bart butter your bacon.”
- “Is it Bacon Day?”
- “Mmmm. Move over, eggs. Bacon just got a new best friend – fudge.”
- “Not again! First you took away my Philly Fudgesteak. And then my Bacon Balls. Then my Whatchamachicken. You monster!”
- Homer: I’ll have the smiley face breakfast special. Uhh, but could you add a bacon nose? Plus bacon hair, bacon mustache, five o’clock shadow made of bacon bits and a bacon body.
Waitress: How about I just shove a pig down your throat?
(Homer looks excited)
Waitress: I was kidding.
Homer: Fine, but the bacon man lives in a bacon house!
Waitress: No he doesn’t!
- “[strained] You know that feeling you get when a thousand knives of fire are stabbing you in the heart? I’m having that right now…[normal] Ooh, bacon!”
- “Mmm … bacon”
- “Mmm … unexplained bacon”
I would say that in certain circles, I’m known for my “extensive” use of bacon and pork products. Beyond wrapping my favorite steaks, poultry and seafood, I am a fervent believer that bacon makes any vegetable desirable to even the pickiest of eaters. Vegetarians beware. Thanksgiving is nothing short of carnage in my home. A Mexican friend of mine once said, “white people put bacon in everything!”
“Actually,” I replied, “I think its just me.”
Today I am proud to say that I am alone no longer. Joanna Pruess has made me feel part of a society, nay, a proud heritage in her loving homage, Seduced by Bacon: Recipes & Lore about America’s Favorite Indulgence. The photography is delicious, and the recipes…well, they go beyond even my own pork obsession. I mean, after eating bacon-wrapped filet with pan-fried bacon brussel sprouts and a salad with bacon crumbles, I think the ice cream is allowed to be bacon free.
Still, you have to admire her passion. So if you’re looking for new ways to amaze your friends and family and send them home smiling, look no further. Bacon is the word.
While listening to NPR last October or so, I heard an interview with the inventors of a miracle. It’s called BaconSalt, and I was immediately enthralled. There was even a really great creative financing story behind its inception, so I just had to give it a try. By ordering 18 bottles. I gave them to friends and loved ones for Christmas.
Check it. It’s free of calories. It’s kosher. It’s vegan. It’s…frankly, delicious. My husband and I have used it on steaks, mixed into burgers, on baked potatoes and, our personal favorite, on boiled eggs. Seriously, eggs and bacon without all that…wait. Why would we ever want to skip the real bacon? Oh yeah, because of the whole not wanting to die of carotid arterial blockage.
Does it taste exactly like bacon? I won’t lie, nothing’s that good. But can it add a smoky, salty goodness to your favorite recipes without all the fat? That’s a big 10-4. If you’ve already tried this miracle of modern science, please share your feedback and favorite uses. Lord knows I can’t get enough.
Mmmm… bacon buckets.
My wife and I saw this ‘toon while on Holiday in the Brit Isles. O’ lord, Jesus the world is such a funny place.
Humor is so fun. God I just love it.
by Dorothy Gambrell