I know what you’re thinking: A fairy who comes through your window at night and leaves bacon under your pillow, right? But no, this is even more strange. We have discovered a website called Gale’s Gifts, where Gale sells a wide variety of kooky knick-knacks, including Aunt Jemima salt & pepper shakers, John Deere napkin holders and ice buckets (for that bottle of Cold Duck you’ve been saving for a special occasion), and of course, Dreamcatchers. This is just the kind of website that grandmothers all over the world have been waiting for.
The most intriguing item, however, is the Bacon & Eggs Kitchen Fairy. Both cuddly and creepy, this chubby little darling can bring home the bacon AND fry it up in a pan, apparently without the use of any fairy dust or magic. Sadly, this item is completely sold out. I guess you’ll have to make do with the Bratwurst or the Cheeseburger Fairy for now. Or, if you’re in the mood for ethnic food, maybe the Italian Sub or Taco Fairy would suit you. I could go on and on. No, seriously, there are 79 fairies to choose from. I could list them all here, but you really ought to go see for yourself.
And voila! Christmas shopping done.
As The Bacon Fairy, I find this rendition of me to rather alarming an naive.