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Have you heard the latest cautionary tale? Apparently, you should never pack a carry-on bag with bacon. It seems that bacon has “a similar molecular density to certain types of explosives.” One man learned this the hard way at the Linz Airport in Austria. When asked what was in the bag, the man only replied that it was “fat.” Strangely, he later became paranoid that the bacon actually WAS a bomb, planted by his estranged wife who had packed this lunch for him. With enough bacon to set off a bomb dectector.

Cautionary tale #2: Do not let your estranged spouse pack your luggage for you. Please go see the original Nachrichten article, as translated by Google. It is hilariously mangled, making the story even funnier.

While searching the internet for more information about this story, I found something even more off-putting than this carry-on fiasco. According to the Urban Dictionary, a Bacon Bomb is “a wicked silent fart that comes out so hot that it singes the butt hair. It smells like burnt bacon and usually emits a smokey cloud. Easily clears a room and ruins any fun other people are having, but enhances your own fun.” I do believe Brutus is the master of the Bacon Bomb, making this whole Austrian incident seem like child’s play. They should make a bomb detector just for him.

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