My diet is pretty boring. I get some supposedly healthy kibble twice a day, a handful of treats if I look cute enough, and all the water I can drink. Woop-dee-doo. Water. I know my roommates have beer and wine and whipping cream in the fridge, but they are not forthcoming with any of the good stuff. That’s why I’m here to make a case for Bacon Water.
I’ve read the website and don’t know exactly how to get this liquid ambrosia, but there’s a lot of useful crap on there about why it’s good for me, what it’s made from, and why local retailers should consider selling it.
So this is my plea. I’ve seen you humans. You never drink water from a bowl; always from a bottle. I want nothing more than to share your human rights. Please! Call your local pet store and ask them to carry Bacon Water. If dog was man’s best friend before, just think what this will do for the relationship!
(You fabulous animal, you.) I just got off the phone from the Petco home office. The human with whom I spoke says they “will check on the availability” of bacon water. Kong doo doo. I won’t give up, Brute. I’ll find you some bw! You have my word.